there is nothing/no one left

“They could not see each other’s faces very clearly any more, because there was only firelight. And Stephen spoke such words as a lover will speak when his heart is burdened to breaking; when his doubts must bow down and be swept away before the unruly flood of his passion. There in that shadowy, firelit room, she spoke such words as lovers have spoken ever since the divine, sweet madness of God flung the thought of love into Creation.”

The Well of Loneliness, Radclyffe Hall

when you are away and this longing comes over
me, i let my thoughts run all over you
till you come back. it doesn’t matter, not so much,
only a little of the quiet hysteria of your absence
remains
an awkward tickle
in the heart.

i laugh
but then i laugh out of nothing, out of spite
as you seem to have recalled
all the extensions and exultations
of your love, now, quickly folded up

while i, finding you retreating,
find it all points to me:
that what i have loved in you
retreats now in me,
you harbour no more love or grief

departure, Arthur Yap

“Was then not all sorrow in time, all self-torment and fear in time? Were not all difficulties and evil in the world conquered as soon as one conquered time, as soon as one dispelled time?”

— Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

If I go to sleep, there is the danger of waking up.