While everything seems, at this very moment, to be holding up, I can feel myself steadily crashing. I don't think the people around me realise how serious it is, but I get more and more terrified. It feels like a bad dream where I am slipping inch by inch into a black hole, and everyone has their backs turned. I know I have to save myself because no one else can, but choosing courage is about the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm comfortable in the comfort zone, but the comfort zone has rude people, and angry people, and loud people, and insensitive people, and well, me.

Just the other day someone told me every time she sees me I shrink even more. I wanted to tell her, yes, can't you see I am trying to disappear ? To reduce into a void where I can drown out the sounds of the overbearing world, fall deeper and further into myself until I no longer exist.

Everything hurts, and there is only so much I can bear before I let this consume me.